Our Ethos
A Transparent Look at Matchmaking & Dating Support
Welcome.
This page offers a clear, honest look at how my matchmaking and dating support work—so you can feel into whether this approach is aligned before stepping closer.
I work with people who are ready for a different way of relating: one rooted in presence, discernment, and responsibility rather than performance, pressure, or urgency.
This isn’t a promise of outcomes.
It’s an invitation into a relationship practice.
If something here stirs curiosity, relief, or even discomfort—that’s information. Often, it’s a sign this work might matter.
With warmth,
Rachel
How We Show Up for Our Private Clients
If you choose to work with me as a private matchmaking client, you’re not just “in a service.” You’re in a relationship.
That looks like:
Presence, honesty, and thoughtful discernment
Clear communication and realistic expectations
Respect for your pace, nervous system, and timing
Careful stewardship of your vulnerability and trust
I don’t rush intimacy, manufacture outcomes, or override your instincts.
My role is to walk alongside you—not pull you forward faster than your life can sustain.
How We Show Up for Our Clients’ Matches
The people I introduce to my clients are never treated as placeholders, practice rounds, or transactions.
I show up for clients’ matches with:
Respect for their time, boundaries, and humanity
Honest framing and clear expectations from the start
Careful pacing, communication, and consent at every step
Appreciation and care, regardless of whether a romantic connection unfolds
Not every introduction leads to a relationship—but every person deserves to feel considered and honored.
This is part of how I protect the integrity of the entire ecosystem.
Curated Introductions
(for active matchmaking clients)
Each introduction is thoughtful and intentional—and built over time.
Before making any introductions, I spend time getting to know you: your values, rhythms, communication style, nervous system, and what actually feels like “home” to you in relationship. That understanding deepens as we work together.
Behind the scenes, that includes:
Careful screening and pre-qualification
Values, lifestyle, and relational-readiness alignment
Ongoing observation and discernment
Recruiting beyond my immediate circle when needed
I don’t work with quotas or promised numbers.
I work with timing, care, and integrity.
Connection Coaching & Pattern Awareness
Whether or not someone becomes “your person,” every interaction offers clarity.
For those working with me more deeply, we explore:
Relational patterns and blind spots
Preferences vs. conditioning
How your nervous system responds to intimacy
Where you open, protect, attach, or withdraw
Who you say you want vs. who you choose
This work isn’t about chasing love.
It’s about becoming someone who can hold it.
How Matches Are Chosen
Each potential introduction is based on:
Who you are
What you desire in a partner and a life
Who is available and aligned in real time
Mutual interest and readiness
Availability is fluid. Timing is an art.
Before any introduction, there is observation, conversation, vetting, and intuition at work behind the scenes.
A Note on Saying Yes
When someone meets your core non-negotiables, I may gently encourage openness—even if they aren’t box-perfect.
Why?
Chemistry often unfolds with time
Intuition sharpens through lived experience
Growth tends to live just beyond habit
Post-date reflection helps clarify what truly matters—to you and to the process.
Dating With Care
For active introductions:
I coordinate scheduling and logistics
You receive first names and contact information
Curiosity is encouraged over pre-judgment
Follow-through, kindness, and presence matter here.
They’re part of how trust is built.
Coaching Is Part of the Work
In active containers, this work includes reflection on:
Communication patterns
Emotional availability
Attachment tendencies
Dating energy and pacing
Awareness creates choice.
Choice creates change.
What I Can and Cannot Promise
What I can promise:
Careful discernment
Honesty with kindness
Respect for your heart
Inclusion in a long-term ecosystem of connection
I cannot promise:
A relationship
A timeline
Chemistry
Instant clarity
My Commitments to You
Radical Respect for Your Privacy & Dignity
Matchmaking is not fully anonymous by nature, but your information is treated with deep care. I only share profiles with people directly involved in potential matches—clients, vetted connectors, or trusted matchmakers—and always with clear intention.
An Inclusive, Humanity-Forward Approach
All ethical expressions of dating are welcome here. Your identity, boundaries, preferences, and lived experience are honored. If I don’t have aligned matches within my pool, I will do my best to connect you with a trusted matchmaker who may.
An Unshakable Belief in Your Worth
You are whole. You are lovable. You are not behind. Your worth does not rise or fall based on dating outcomes. I hold you as inherently worthy throughout this entire process.
Care, Hope & Attentiveness
When you’re part of this ecosystem, you’re held—not forgotten. I remain engaged, thoughtful, and attentive. Every introduction is treated with presence and care.
Your Commitments to the Process
Consent Comes First — Always
Consent to be matched. Consent on dates. Consent in relationships. You agree to honor your yes, no, and maybe—and to respect the other person’s boundaries. If consent feels unfamiliar or challenging, support is available.
Kindness & Compassion in All Interactions
You may decline or discontinue connection at any time. When you do, you commit to clarity, honesty, and care—including respectful feedback when requested.
Willingness to Examine Patterns & Biases
Preferences are human. Unexamined biases can be harmful. You agree to stay curious about how conditioning, power, and lived experience shape your dating lens—and to engage this work in good faith.
Integrity, Alignment & Self-Trust
You are the expert on you. You set the pace. If something stops feeling aligned, that’s information—not failure. We can pause, repair, or shift as needed. Repeated misalignment may mean stepping out of the ecosystem to protect its integrity.
DAN MERRITT
“The quality of dates was better than any I’d gone on before working with Rachel — and that’s because of her matchmaking skills and her ability to vet people much better than a short online profile. Every single date left me more energized.”
When Private Matchmaking Isn’t the Right Fit (Yet)
Sometimes the most honest answer is that I don’t currently have aligned matches in my active pool.
That doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It usually means timing, specificity, or readiness hasn’t lined up yet.
When that’s the case, I don’t send you back to the apps alone or leave you hanging.
Instead, I often recommend dating doula support and/or photography—to help you relaunch into the dating world with significantly more clarity, confidence, and resonance.
This work can include:
Clarifying what you’re truly looking for (vs. what you’ve been defaulting to)
Identifying patterns that may be limiting connection
Strengthening how you show up on dates and in communication
Updating photos so your presence actually reflects you
Helping you feel grounded, resourced, and more like yourself again
Many people who eventually become great candidates for private matchmaking start here.
This isn’t a consolation prize.
It’s often the most strategic and empowering next step.
A Longer View
Some people meet their partner quickly.
Some later.
Some long after their formal container ends.
The constant?
People who grow—win.
Not because they “did it right,” but because they became more available to the kind of love they say they want.
FAQs
What makes your approach different?
I’m a tender-hearted human who believes in partnership, grace, and warmth.
This work is relational, intuition-led, and deeply human. I care as much about how you love—and how you treat people along the way—as whether something “works out.”
Can you guarantee love or a relationship?
No. And no ethical matchmaker can.
What I can promise is devotion to the process, honest reflection, and inclusion in a long-term ecosystem of connection.
For many people, that alone changes everything.
Who tends to thrive in this work?
Tender-hearted, self-aware people who value kindness, presence, and growth—especially those who want depth over speed and responsibility over performance.
Interestingly, many of my happiest clients so far have been men with ADHD—curious, big-hearted humans who thrive with support that honors how their minds and nervous systems actually work.
Can you promise they’re highly evolved, not narcissists, and have a 401k?
People reveal themselves over time.
I prioritize real conversation—often through thoughtful video chats—to get a genuine sense of alignment, values, and relational readiness before making introductions. From there, lived connection is what matters most.
My role is to support pacing, curiosity, and grounded discernment—so you remain the authority on what’s right for you.
What does it mean to be in the Rolodex?
Being in the Rolodex means you’re on my radar.
When someone commits to private matchmaking or superconnector-style support, I first look within this pool of proactive people who’ve shared who they are and what they’re looking for. Sometimes that’s enough; sometimes I recruit more broadly or collaborate with other matchmakers.
There’s no cost and no guarantee—it’s simply where the ecosystem begins and how I thoughtfully organize the people in my wider orbit.
Ways to Step Closer
I don’t believe in upselling, urgency, or pressure. I trust that people who value depth, care, and integrity can feel when something is aligned.
This is collaborative, consent-based work. You bring your lived experience and instincts; I bring perspective, discernment, and care.
Quality over quantity. Always.
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Join the Rolodex – Be considered for aligned introductions
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Book a Strategy Consult – Explore whether private matchmaking feels right for you
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Explore Dating Doula Support & Photography – Relaunch your dating life with clarity, confidence, and presence